Often, the lack of accountability is what allows a person’s addictions to continue unimpeded. If those closest to a chronic substance abuser don’t step up and say something, then he or she may only seek substance abuse treatment after disaster strikes in the form of a legal, medical, personal or financial catastrophe.
Your care and concern may be the only thing stronger than your loved one’s addiction, but broaching the topic of family addiction is uncomfortable and easily botched. Call Behavioral Health Centers today at 772-774-3872 for more information on helping family members with their addiction.
How addiction affects the family
Many people view the fight against drug abuse as personal. As toxic substances cause severe damage, the user is often unaware of the other persons involved besides the user. Families affected by addiction can understand how serious the problem can be. It can destroy relationships, cause financial hardship, and lead to emotional and physical health problems. Addiction can tear families apart, but there is hope. With addiction treatment, family therapy and emotional support, families can heal the damage caused by addiction and build a healthy future.
Family Addiction: 10 Ways You Can Help a Loved One
There are nearly 22 million Americans addicted to illicit drugs or alcohol, and almost 50 percent of people in the nation know a person who is addicted to prescription painkillers. Whether it’s a friend, family or coworker, addiction likely affects at least one person in your life if it hasn’t already happened.
When these situations arise, it’s crucial that you take the appropriate actions to get your loved one or colleague the help they need. You’ve noticed that there’s a problem, now it’s time to help. The last thing you want to do is turn a blind-eye to someone you care about. Here is a step-by-step guide of what to do when you determine that someone close to you may have a substance abuse problem.
1. Detecting the signs of substance abuse
There is no acceptable level of illegal drug use. The first time you see a loved one using an illicit drug like heroin, cocaine or crystal meth is one time too many. However, when it comes to alcohol, it can be difficult to determine when use has crossed the line into abuse. Everyone has a different tolerance level, and everyone has a different level for what’s acceptable drinking and what’s not based on personal standards. How does one know when it has gone too far?
For example, people may be more inclined to binge drink at a party than they would be in everyday life. A person who is passed out drunk after a wedding may not have a diagnosable substance use disorder (SUD).
Signs and Symptoms of Alcohol Addiction [1]
- Sudden weight changes
- Temporary blackouts or memory loss
- Unexplainable mood swings
- Recurrent arguments and/or fights with friends and family members
- Continuing use of alcohol to relax, cheer up and feel normal
- Headaches, nausea, anxiety and other unpleasant withdrawal symptoms when attempting to stop
- Need to drink more and more to feel the effects
- Drinking alone, in the mornings or in secret
- Continued use despite negative consequences (such as a job loss)
- Neglect of hygiene and physical appearance
Depending on how close you are to this person and how much time you spend around him or her, you can observe their substance abuse habits more closely. Is he drinking daily? Have there been any noticeable health problems? Is work performance declining? Have you caught him drinking in secret?
2. Learn as Much as You Can
As the saying goes, knowledge is power. Just because you suspect something is amiss doesn’t mean that there is. The first step you should take when determining what to do about your loved one’s substance abuse problem is to do your research. Learn about the signs and symptoms of drug abuse for all of the different drugs out there to figure out which substances (if you don’t already know) could be at play.
This will help you confirm your suspicions, ascertain the severity of the problem and perhaps notice any patterns in drug or alcohol abuse. Being informed will also allow you to better educate your friend or addicted family member on the damage their substance use is causing.
3. Speak Up and Raise Your Concerns
Things start to get a little more difficult during this step, as problematic substance abuse is never easy to broach. The best thing you can do is show that your concern is based on the fact you care for that person. Refrain from being judgmental, insulting or condescending. In many cases, the person who has alcohol or drug addiction may not realize how his or her substance use has gotten out of control and the impact it is having.
Some Tips for the Discussion
- Be sure that your loved one is sober when you bring up the subject
- Use open-ended questions to create a two-way dialogue and allow the addicted individual to express him or herself thoroughly
- List the behaviors you’ve observed
- Don’t expect immediate action
Depending on how long the substance abuse has gone on, your friend or family member may even take this opportunity to correct the problem. Your goal should not be to convince your loved one that he or she has a problem, but rather to let the person know that you think there is a problem.
4. Don’t be an Enabler
Discussing drug and/or alcohol abuse with your loved one may cause him or her to become defensive and lash out in anger. This reaction often leads friends and family members to do whatever they can to remain in the good graces of the substance abuser. While it may seem that you’re just being compassionate to your loved one, this can quickly become enabling and codependent behavior that feeds a family addiction.
Codependent Behaviors
- Making excuses for substance abuser’s actions
- Providing transportation or funding for the user to get drugs or alcohol
- Putting the needs of the substance abuser before your own
Once you’ve made it known that you disapprove of your friend’s or family member’s substance use, you must remain firm, even if it means you will raise his or her ire.
Codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as ‘relationship addiction’ because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. Most often, codependency is associated with romantic relationships, but it can occur in parent/child relationships as well as many other types of bonds.
5. Speak to Other Friends and Family Members
Perhaps you’re not the only one who has noticed what’s going on, but you were the only one who had the courage to say something. By conferring with those closest to the substance abuser, the whole family can create a coalition for change.
Share what you’ve learned from your research and tell them about the substance abusing patterns you’ve noticed. There’s a good chance that they’ve also noticed similar behavior, and it could confirm any suspicions they’ve had. Additionally, the more people who know that there is a problem, the more pressure there will be on your addicted loved one to seek treatment and the more support groups he or she can rely on.
6. Contact a Licensed Addiction Treatment Facility
When those closest to your addicted family member or friend can all agree that there is a problem, it’s time to take action. However, unless you’re an addiction care specialist, you likely don’t know what to do next. This is the time to begin exploring treatment options that fit your budget and needs.
Speaking with professionals from addiction treatment centers can answer a lot of questions for you, including the length of stay, the types of therapies, coping skills and programs available, the cost and the overall success rate of the facility. It’s important to find a treatment facility that provides a wide range of substance abuse treatment options that account for the mental, physical and spiritual damage caused by chronic substance abuse.
7. Schedule an Intervention
When people hear the word intervention or support groups intervention, they often conjure images of Hollywood and television depictions where family members are screaming insults at each other. Interventions don’t have to be combative forums where friends and family members take turns attacking the addicted party. This is a time when the entire family unit can get together to let the addicted person know that they care and they’re concerned about the short- and long-term impact of drug and alcohol abuse.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to enlist the services of a professional interventionist. This is a very emotionally-charged event that can easily go the wrong way, potentially resulting in the substance abuser withdrawing from the family and falling deeper into alcohol or drug addiction. A professional interventionist will coordinate every aspect of the event. Interventions conducted by a trained and experienced mental health professional lead to a 90 percent success rate of the drug or alcohol abuser accepting treatment. [1]
Be sure to have a plan in place in the case that your loved one does not accept treatment for their family addiction and one in the event that he or she does. Your professional interventionist will advise you on this.
8. Provide Support
People in rehab for substance use need as much support from friends and family as possible. This means showing up for counseling sessions, visiting, calling and continuing to refrain from judgment. After all, the roots of almost all drug, alcohol and substance use problems are often very complex. In many cases, a person’s family addiction habits are connected to preexisting mental health conditions, unresolved trauma, environmental factors and family history. [1]Every person who is close to your addicted loved one can play a valuable role in his or her recovery by being sympathetic and understanding. This is family therapy. During rehab, your job is to find out how you can help your loved one be as successful as possible.
9. Remove Drugs and Alcohol from Your Own Life
One of the most difficult things for a person in recovery to do is return to everyday life and fight temptation in the face of other people doing improper substance use. If you live with your addicted loved one, you must remove all addictive substances from your home and refrain from using those products yourself. If you’re a close friend or family member, you must be sure that any time spent with him or her is free of any substance use. The more these substances are removed from your loved one’s life, the more likely it is that he or she will be successful in recovery.
People in recovery often deal with a period of grieving, which can be marked by depression. As a friend or family member, you can be instrumental in helping them through this difficult period.
10. Don’t Expect Instant Success
Perhaps the most frustrating part of recovery for the friends and family members of addicted individuals is relapse. The first year is the hardest, as over 50 percent of those who successfully complete rehab will not be able to remain sober for the next year and will start substance use again.
Expecting your addicted friend or family member to be completely cured of the disease of addiction after one-three months of treatment may be unrealistic. Your patience, understanding and acceptance will go a long way in making your loved one’s journey to sobriety much smoother.
It’s important to remember that falling off the path of recovery does not mean that the entire attempt to address a family addiction was a failure. This will be a long-term process with a bunch of ups and downs.
Allow Us to Help You Succeed
Help is available for the families of addicts
You can feel lonely and helpless when your husband, wife, child, sibling, parent or other family member is destroying his or her life through substance abuse. You want what’s best for your loved one, but he or she may not see that because of the preoccupation with substance abuse that addiction causes.
Rather than throwing your hands up in disgust or just giving up, reach out to an addiction treatment facility that has helped hundreds of substance abusers defeat their addictions and reclaim control over their lives.
Our addiction treatment center specialize in creating individualized strategies to target, address and resolve the causes and origins of a person’s addiction. Additionally, we have a thorough understanding of the myriad therapies designed to reverse some of the damage caused by substance abuse and to treat any co-occurring disorders.
If you have a friend or family member struggling with an addiction, time is running out. Waiting too long to take action can and will lead to a number of disastrous events, including DUI, health complications, job loss, divorce and even death. Contact us today at to learn more about how we can help.
